Highlights of Life

As with everyone, we all have character flaws we’d like to change.  And the more I reflect, the more I realize I have these traits that are really damn (excuse the French) annoying.  And the person it annoys the most, is me!  Now you would think that being so annoyed, that I would actually be motivated enough to change.  But instead, I seem to just become more entrenched in the quagmire of the status quo.  But slowly but surely the desire to change is growing.  And tonight it seems to have come to a head… so much so, that I’m actually blogging about it.

Here is a wonderfully detailed list of what I want to change in myself:

1. Lack of discipline

One of the traits I’ve always noticed that I’ve had is my lack of discipline.  Now for the undisciplined, we have many coping mechanisms.  For instance, we “try” to keep an agenda, and a list.  The only problem is that we don’t follow it and the list becomes misplaced somewhere, never to be seen again.  Thus, there is always a high probability of double booking or even sometimes-triple booking, and inevitably leaving someone rather annoyed at you.

Before the advent of the blackberrys and google calendar reminders, my friends actually knew me well enough to actually serve in the role of my schedule reminder.  (kind of like a mini secretary).  So it wasn’t uncommon for my university friends to always say, “You know we have assignment X, or test Y on day Z, right?” I would then look rather dazedly at them going, “We do?” and wonder how I forgotten such an important deadline or test. ”Yes” my friends would reply, “I knew you would forget, so that’s why I’m telling you now.”  Ah, such were my university days.  I was truly lucky to have such good friends who knew me so well, and cared.

I shouldn’t forget also the many times I’ve also double booked myself.  There were a number of times when I would sit in anguish at my desk over a deadline in an assignment or an essay while I cancelled last minute on someone or an event that I had been looking forward to all week.  Oh the self-annoyance and irritation at my own folly was most acute at those times.  I don’t know who was more disappointed.  The person I would stand up last minute (who often thought I was pulling out of an unwanted event)… or me, as I sat there kicking myself for being undisciplined and procrastinating to the point of missing out on fun events.

I somehow find that my ability to be undisciplined goes hand in hand with my ability to procrastinate.  With both the internet and computer at my fingertips, the ability to become tempted by both grows, oh, so exponentially.  So I have decided from this day forward, I will try to be more disciplined.  More organized, and less of a procrastinator.