Highlights of Life

miss my journal

I just realize how much I miss journalling. What an outlet to be completely honest. And sometimes to reflect, and see the growth (or the lack thereof) in personality. I think it was the one place where I was completely honest (as much as the human heart could be honest). However, now I don’t journal, and infact barely have time to reflect on life. Life is so busy sometimes. Where does all the time go?

I used to keep a few journal entries in my gmail documents a while back. But, I noticed recently how invasive google is with their data collection of personal info, and it scared me. So I went back and deleted them all. But nothing was deleted until I read the entires once. The force of emotion, hurt, and bluntness, as well as sometimes anger that boiled within the entires surprised me. I guess sometimes time does heal the heart, and makes one forget. With the passage of time, one forgets the injustices that may have been done to them… But isn’t that a good thing?

To have a great memory, and to be constantly reminded, and to feel the emotions never melt away cause you remember, and then feel hurt… how awful that must be. It must make things doubly hard to forgive.

The entries also reminded me how dysfunctional families are (no matter how perfect they may seem on the surface). And with Asian families, this dichotomy in appearance and reality is so HUGE.

Life is odd. And journalling is GOOD for the soul… as is heartfelt prayer. The time to be honest about the state of one’s heart, is only a GOOD thing. Perhaps I should take up journalling again.. but when, and where? Do I journal in a book like I used to do in the “old days” before people became tech savvy, or should I do it on an online site? And how secure are the online sites? Knowing me, these questions will probably be enough for me not to restart journalling again. Oh well. I never did claim procrastination was a good thing.